Celebrating Bad Poetry Day

For the tiny minority of you who didn’t know that August 18th was national Bad Poetry Day… it was.  We held a reading at Somewhere Else, the hang-out spot we staff at in Cambridge.  Don’t you wish you could staff at a “hang-out spot”?  I did, when I was seven and watched a lot of “Silver Spoons“.  Dreams DO come true!

Anyway, here’s a picture of us getting ready for it,


Click “read more” to experience the three poems I crafted just for the occasion.  Drumroll, please:


The dark night was as black

as a dark, dark black blackboard

And her hair was as dark

as a raven’s wing at midnight.

In Antarctica.

During that season where

the sun only bumps up a little

for about two days all year.

That hair she had was really that dark.

I could tell, because of how dark the night was,

And her hair was even MORE dark black.

Her dark, dark-black hair

flowed like a tumbling river of black water,

or coffee.

Black coffee.

It was as long as the tail

of a wild stallion

except a really giant one

so its tail would be extra long.

And a black stallion

because her hair was really dark black.

Her hair was so black

And the night so dark

And her hair was so long

That I tripped over it.


(to be read as a hardcore rap)

girl, you shake me

yeah, ya earthquake me

if I was a yard

I’d let ya rake me

woman, you take me

so hot you bake me

if I was a car

I’d let ya brake me

but don’t mistake me

if ya can’t wake me

I’m just takin’ a nap

so don’t forsake me

if I were a vampire

I’d let ya stake me

if you were a mudslide

I’d let ya cake me

if I was a pain

I’d let ya ache me

if I was a jet-ski

I’d let ya lake me

if I was roadkill

I’d let ya pancake me

if I was real

I’d let ya fake me

‘cuz I like you


I was so sad

I felt so bad

Because my girl

Made me mad

She went with Tad

Who dressed in plaid

That awful girl

I used to had

She told her dad

I was a nad

Though the girl

Knew I was rad

She trashed my pad

With her brother Brad

That stupid girl

And her other brother, Chad

I was so glad

A happy lad

When there was no girl

To make me mad


One Response to “Celebrating Bad Poetry Day”

  1. LOL you guys rock and miss you lots 🙂

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